The perfect Frankengrain 4. February 2011 William Davis (25) Pretend I'm a mad food scientist. I'd like to create a food that:1) Wreaks gastrointestinal havoc and cause intractable diarrhea, cramps, and anemia. 2) Kills some people who consume it after a long, painful course of illness.3) Damages the brain and nervous system such that some people wet their pants, lose balance, and lose the ability to feel their feet and legs. 4) Brings out the mania of bipolar illness.5) Amplifies auditory hallucinations in people with paranoid schizophrenia. 6) Makes people diabetic by increasing blood sugars. 7) Worsens arthritis, such as osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.8) Triggers addictive eating behavior. 9) Punishes you with a withdrawal process if you try to remove it from your diet. I will develop a strain that is exceptionally hardy and tolerates diverse conditions so that it can grow in just about any climate. It should also be an exceptionally high yield crop, so that I can sell it cheaply to the masses. Now, if my evil scheme goes as planned, I will then persuade the USDA that not only is my food harmless, but it is good for health. If they really take the bait, they might even endorse it, create a diet program around it. Dag nabit! Such a plan has already been implemented. Another evil food scientist already beat me to the punch. The food is called wheat.